Previously, on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Thea and Nularaaaa get grabbed and pulled in by the skeletal hands into the sphere.
Thea, are you still alive?
What? I can't see you.
The Doubledores swing open, revealing a 12-foot tall humanoid male.
Ye who seek Diderius's insight must first furnish tribute.
Thea goes forward and places a handful of precious stones.
Gold?
My deerskin hat.
You shall pass.
I walk to the door like reverently.
You step into what looks to be an old library or study.
When all of a sudden you see materialized directly in front of you,
the gnarled, angry face of a female ghost.
Who are you and why are you here?
We're looking for a dwarf.
We are here to find Varan the White.
I don't know Varan the White.
You have come to steal my master's scrolls and his books.
What scrolls and books?
It's true. This place is empty.
You're right. I did not do good.
Where's that pool?
There is another way.
You got to go deeper into the tunnels to get there.
I just warn you that the pool, if you're not careful,
it can drive you insane.
Oh, good warning.
You, Flint, go down these stairs and immediately you see five bearded devils.
What are you looking at, guys?
We're watching danger.
I put five precious, really sparkly stones next to the silver piece.
This is okay. What do you want to know?
We are working for the cult.
We have orders from our boss, Lord Zariel,
Archduchess of Avernus, who wants Tiamat out of the nine house.
You open the door and it enters into a long gallery that holds a dry pool.
Okay, yeah, I'm going to make my way back to the well room there, Russ.
You enter into the well chamber and there are three trolls.
Back in the divination pool, you hear the sound of grinding stone
and you see three serpent creatures.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We are a fifth edition actual play podcast.
I am your dungeon master, Russ More,
and with me today is my lovely wife, Amy More.
Hi.
What do you play, Amy?
I play Thea Amastasia, a druid elf.
And also with us is Carla Johnson.
Hey, I play Nulara Moonbrook, a human ranger.
And Tom Laird.
Hey, I play Flint Firebeard, a dwarf fighter.
Welcome, everybody.
We've already got all the chat out of the way,
so I already know how you are, but how are you?
Doing well.
Super good.
We didn't doubly introduce ourselves this time.
I'm very proud of all of us.
I seriously sat my beer down and listened and was like,
I'm not going to do- Did Amy say her name?
Yeah, because if you did, I would have done it too,
so it would seem intentional, but-
Oh yeah, I totally listened for you guys
to get the format down before my turn.
We did it, you guys.
Success.
Mission success.
Okay, it's been a good game.
I'll talk to you guys in a couple of weeks.
Next time, Tom goes first because he waits for everybody.
No, don't put all the pressure on me.
So yeah, we play Dumbgeons and Dragons
and tell a pretty cool story, I think, and we think.
It's okay.
Most of us think.
50-50.
Including some fine people on Patreon.
You can visit our Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
and join the community there that we have going on,
which is, I'd like to say,
a bigger community of the people involved in this podcast,
but mostly just me.
Well, if you teach me how to use it, maybe I'll use it.
You go to Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
and put in the password I sent you not too long ago, and-
I lost it.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm also going to say that I don't have that password, so-
Send email.
I do have the password, but I haven't-
Text.
It's all Russ, let's be honest.
Side note.
We have never denied that Russ does almost all of the work.
Yeah, and I even deleted myself
from having the Dumbgeons and Dragons Twitter synced up to my Twitter
because I could not handle it on Fridays anymore.
Yeah, those follow Fridays, man.
They get you.
There was one day where I was on my iPad
and just like notification after notification was coming in
and it was like slowing everything down so much,
I just was like, fuck it, this is going away right now.
So you won't be talking to Tom on Twitter?
Nope.
Not through dumb dragon cast, the dumb dragon cast handle,
but you can tweet him at lair radio.
That's the one.
You might be talking to me on Twitter.
Oh, and the four question marks that Russ had at the end of that
are definitely part of my handle.
Yeah, I'll put his Twitter's down in the description,
so you can get the actual spelling of it.
I have Twitter too.
You do.
I don't know my handle.
Do you use it?
Amore is more.
I'm clever.
I tweet at you all the time.
You tweet at me all the time.
It's a one sided conversation.
Russ, you should lobby for 280 characters for us.
How do you do that?
I don't know.
I just see a bunch of other people having 280 characters
and I always wonder, why don't we have that?
I would really appreciate that
because I could toss in a few more hashtags every now and again.
You really could.
You're a real influencer, Russ,
so just get on the horn to the people at Twitter
and see what you can do.
I've written down a note.
Twitter, 280 characters.
I will follow up on that.
280, y'all.
Before this game, I put it to all of our social medias
to ask us some questions.
Oh, boy.
Did we get any?
We got two questions.
Oh, two questions.
First question comes from ALex McClure.
Hi, ALex.
Thanks for asking us a question.
Yes, thank you.
She's also a patron of ours.
She sounds like one of the best people.
She is in my list of 20 to 50 people
that I'm interested in talking to in the world, so.
ALex, congratulations on getting on the list.
Her question is, which we kind of touched on it
a little bit or a lot in the Tales from the Fandom interview,
which is out now by the time that this is out,
but we'll touch on it briefly,
is how you got started with Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Who wants to tackle this one?
I feel like we all have the same one-word answer.
Russ made us do it.
Russ made me do it.
We all were interested in playing.
And then Russ made it happen.
How about that?
That's a good one.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
My Dumbgeons and Dragons is mostly just making you guys play it.
I did play other role-playing games prior to that
in the elementary junior high years
when I was at the peak of my popularity
among the ladies, as they say.
I believe that.
And I played Rifts, which is from the Palladium group
of our role players.
And then, yeah, Dumbgeons and Dragons
after we started listening to the Adventure Zone,
who just fired up their new campaign.
If you listen to them, maybe you could tweet at them about us
and maybe we can get some cross-branding promotion on there.
If I heard anything back from the McElroy brothers,
I would just poop my pants with excitement.
I tweeted them every now and again,
but I never hear anything back.
Please don't air that.
Damn it, that's going in the bug.
And it's going on one of those quote pages
that I haven't done in a while.
Awesome.
It's not because I don't want to do them.
It's because I've been neglectful
in actually writing down the quotes
as I've been editing through.
So it's, yeah.
Why?
Do you have like a job or something now, Russ?
Oh, I know, right?
This gets in the way of my podcasting.
Don't let my boss listen to this.
Does your boss know about it?
Yeah, oh yeah.
Yeah, did you put it on your resume?
I sure did.
It counts.
We had paid like dollars to do this.
And it was what you were working on a lot
and very hard when you guys were in Korea.
It's legit to have it.
I thought so.
But yeah, on my resume,
in the interview,
and in my welcome letter to the company,
I talked about it everywhere.
You're awesome.
My mom doesn't know.
Whoops.
Oh yeah.
Well, let us know when you finally
come out to your mom about us.
Is your mom a big podcast subscriber?
We're having lunch tomorrow.
Maybe I'll finally let her know.
Mom, I've been meaning to tell you something.
Is she more active on Twitter than you?
Because I could tweet at her.
Not on Twitter.
She did, I think, play D&D like in the 70s.
So she'd probably be into it.
Wow.
I feel like this is going to be a real bonding moment for you.
Maybe.
Anyway, did that answer ALex's question?
I think so.
Basically Russ's fault.
Russ's fault.
Yeah.
100%.
Yeah.
Second question comes from at Elmo the Usurper on Twitter,
who you might recall is part of the Bros and Dragons podcast.
Also check them out at,
you can get a link through DumbDragons.com
slash friends of the pod,
I think is the website.
That'll be fixed in post.
Yeah.
He asks, is there a crondo in your world?
Russ, I'm going to need you to mix in some crickets chirping
in the background because I don't think any of us
have the answer that he wants us to have.
The crondo is their big fighty like beast girl.
It's a girl, right?
Just go with what Amy said.
I just listened to their last two episodes actually,
mainly because I'm going to be doing a live podcast with them.
They didn't mention anything about condor.
Crondo.
Oh, whoops.
Oh, fuck.
I don't think we have a crondo or we do,
but you guys haven't run into it yet.
Yeah.
So that's all the questions we have for this week.
It's a fun new thing that we might try and do
a little bit here and there.
We definitely nailed it.
So yeah, let's keep it up.
Yikes.
So let's play D&D now that we've been talking for 45 minutes.
Yep, time to die.
Let's do this.
Yeah, you split the party.
And while Ylar and Thea are standing eagerly waiting
the water to come down into the divination pool,
Flint has run into three trolls.
And then at the same-ish moment, three Yon-T
walk through the door from what you presume is Diderius' tomb chamber
where you previously had stepped through the doorway
and did not see any other entrances or exits.
And they are staring you down.
Everybody roll for initiative.
Shit.
Get your hands out of my hands.
11.
What?
Don't ask questions.
How did you have hands inside of hands?
Don't ask questions.
Hashtag marriage.
Okay, Flint, you go first.
I don't know what that means.
18.
Nice.
Ylar, Thea, what do you got?
11.
I'm saving all my big rolls for never
because I'm going to use spells.
For never.
Perfect, yes.
See, that's what's good.
It's better if I'm first because I can jump in front of you or something.
Shit.
My strategy is all about survival.
Oh, me too.
I'm just going to try not to die.
Exactly.
I'm not going to fucking die.
So how this is going to go is we're going to start with Flint and the trolls.
We're going to do a round, maybe two, depending on how quickly it goes.
And then we're going to jump over to Thea and Nulara.
So there's going to be a little back and forth.
Hopefully it makes sense once I edit it together.
Flint, you're up first, bud.
So you got three trolls in front of you.
They are kind of gathered around the closest to you
as you walk through the door in front of the well.
They are busy mowing down on some hoofed creature.
Your turn.
So do they know I'm there?
Yeah, they all turn to look at you as you open the door.
So they're no longer busy mowing down on a hoofed creature?
Not particularly.
They have food hanging from their mouth and they're still chewing,
but they're looking at you kind of like you're disturbing them,
but also like you could be supper.
OK, just seems gluttonous at this point, but whatever.
They are trolls.
How far away are they?
You got, I think this room, you probably got about 15 feet,
if I'm not mistaken, 10 to 15 feet from the door to the closest one.
All right.
OK, I'm going to run towards the one that is, I guess, closest to me.
How are they spread out in front of me?
There's one closest to you, two closer to the well
with their meal in the middle of their little circle they've got going on there.
Perfect.
I will run up to the one that's closest to me
and and well running will make some sort of wild swing
with my axe in its general face direction.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
That is a net 20.
All right, nice start.
All right.
Yeah, that 20 is certainly going to hit.
Yeah, it was all right.
That is 21 points, 25 plus four for my bonus.
Oh, my God.
So because he took quite a lot of damage,
I get to roll a d20 on what happens to him.
Nothing.
Nothing else happens.
You just take a big chunk out of him,
and he doesn't look very happy at all.
OK, excellent.
I should probably use my second attack then.
Yeah, that's what I'm waiting for.
And that's a critical 19.
Jesus Christ.
What do you got your crit boots on over there?
Apparently, yeah.
Is that a thing?
Do I have crit boots?
Because if so, I haven't been wearing them.
He wakes up in the morning and puts his crit pants on one leg at a time.
One leg at a time.
So 12, first one, seven is 19, three is 22, and four is 26 plus four is 30.
OK, so you are attacking the same one, yes?
Same one, yeah.
You take a swing as you run through the door
and you kind of glance off this troll's back
as it turns away from you, taking a large chunk out of its back.
But on your second swing, you swing a little low
and one of its legs is severed from the troll and it falls down.
But you notice that the leg still continues to move.
And now it's that troll's turn.
And he is actually going to regain 10 hit points
because that's what trolls do and crawl towards you.
He's not going to stand up, but he can make it to you.
And he is going to claw at you.
So he makes two claw attacks.
It's a 10 and a 20, not critical.
Yeah, the 20 hits.
That's 15 slashing damage from that claw there.
Troll number two is going to take his turn
and he is going to jump at you and try and do the same.
Two claws and a bite this time, however.
Claw number one is a 10.
Claw number two is a 24.
Claw number three is a 22.
I thought it was two claws and a bite.
Sorry, bite, bite three, bite, bite is the third one.
Bite is a 22.
So I got a claw and a bite off of that.
The claw is going to do 13 slashing damage
and the bite is going to do seven piercing damage.
Troll number three is just going to pile on
and not do very well because there's things going on in the way
and that's a nine and two 10s.
So troll number three is more there for motivational support.
So we're a cheerleader at this point.
Let's go over to Thea Nularaaaa.
You are staring down two very, very lizard-like humanoid creatures.
They look like they look more or less like a big lizard standing up on two feet.
They're about medium size and one more human-like creature
who has snakes for arms.
What the fuck?
Like many snake-bodied like snakes for arms.
So first up in this exchange is Nularaaaa.
So they have like Medusa hair but for arms?
Like, is that what you mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, there's one of those and then two more very lizard-like creatures.
They sound very handsome.
That's not unsettling at all.
No, Nularaaaa's great with this.
She's really jazzed.
How far away are they?
We're not in a very big place, right?
So you are standing kind of by the divination pool.
It's a longer chamber.
So you're probably 10, 20, no more than about 20 feet from these guys standing at the door.
Okay, I pull out Flametongue and I say Louis Caliente.
And I run over.
Is one of them closer to me?
The two smaller lizard creatures are more in front of the snake-armed gentleman.
Okay, have they drawn weapons?
They don't appear to have any weapons.
I am going to run towards them but I'm also going to yell like,
we don't want to fight you.
We're looking for Varam the White.
That being said, I am still going to try and cut them up because they're lizard creatures.
Okay.
It's very confusing.
I don't want to fight you but I'm going to kill you.
Well, you know, it's hard.
It's hard in-game.
We just have to take turns.
So I'm going to attack.
That is...
Sorry, I forgot to open my character sheet because I'm a real professional.
Is that what we are?
Just because you slap a mic in front of my face doesn't make me a professional.
That is a 19.
And you're going for one of the lizard?
Yes.
More lizard-y folks.
19 will hit, yep.
Okay, so just in case this is enough to kill them, there's no way it is.
I'm not trying to kill them but, you know.
So you're attacking with non-lethal damage then?
Is that what you're doing?
Sure, yeah.
Yeah, that's a good way of saying that succinctly.
Thank you, Russ.
17 damage on my first attack.
Run screaming across this room saying, I don't want to attack you!
But then your sword is alight and you strike into one of these lizards
and you cut off one of its arms.
Jesus Christ, I don't want to hurt you, but I'm gonna.
But it's non-lethal.
You just cut an arm off.
I'm also a flesh wound.
I'm a violent person.
Yeah, sure.
So, okay, then I guess I'm going to attack again.
Same guy?
What other body part can you attack?
Well, maybe, I dropped off this guy's arm.
Maybe I'll attack the other one.
The other lizard-y one because he's kind of next coming through the door, right?
So that is a 22.
Yeah, 22 will hit.
I don't know why I asked that, like, such a question.
Like, this guy was going to be way stronger than the other.
That is 10 damage.
Okay, this guy doesn't lose an arm,
but he hisses and shrieks at you as you take a cut into him.
Okay, Donnie, I keep forgetting about Donnie.
Don't forget about Donnie.
So he's going to come in and he's going to try and give the other guy a chop.
Sure.
So why would he?
14, 14 for my friend Donnie.
14 will hit, yep.
Whoa, feeling kind of bad.
Sorry, and he's going for the snake arm guy?
Snake arms.
Okay, yep.
Oh, snake arms.
That is a 6 damage and he has to do a con saving throw in case he gets poisoned.
He is immune to poison, so nothing happens there.
That seems reasonable.
Yep.
I back up as much as you'll let me, still on the same turn,
which I'm hoping is like 10 feet because.
Yeah, about that.
Yeah, that's fine.
So it is one of the first lizard type folk, his turn, its turn,
and it's going to recklessly attack at you, Nulara,
which means he attacks with advantage on his multi-attacks.
So he gets three attacks.
But then has disadvantage until the next turn.
Yeah, anything, any attack roll against it gets advantage.
Okay, so for his first attack, which is a, which is a claw,
that's going to be a 23.
Yeah, that'll do it.
Second claw, that's going to be a 6 and his bite.
That's going to be a 22.
That will also quite handily injure me.
Actually, you cut off his arm.
So I'm going to say that claw doesn't work
because he would have only had one hand to actually swipe a claw at you.
True.
So I'm going to just do the bite there,
but you get eight piercing damage off of his bite as he
runs snarling at you and biting and throwing his one arm at you.
And now it's Thea's turn.
All right, Thea is going to do something.
I see the madness in front of me and immediately feel unsafe in my own skin.
And so I charge forward, transforming into a winter wolf.
I feel better this way.
Is this a spell or is it just, it's an ability?
It is my wild shape.
Which is a spell or is it an ability?
It's an ability.
Okay.
Fuck yeah it is.
So fuck yeah it is.
So I have this ability.
So now what that means is I have 75 hit points.
So I'm now this winter wolf badass creature and I'm going to
bite at the lizard guy, the one that has both its arms,
that I'm going to roll with advantage because he has disadvantage.
No, the one with one arm has disadvantage because the other guy hasn't gone yet.
Oh, then I want to bite him instead.
Okay.
Because you know how my rolls go.
Okay.
You mean amazingly well every time?
Absolutely.
So I get to roll two times and take the better of the two?
Yeah.
Well then that's going to be a 25.
That will hit.
Excellent.
So I am going to, I'm going to bite the shit out of this guy.
Nine piercing damage.
And since the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC strength saving throw.
Okay.
Or be knocked prone.
Okay.
DC strength you say?
Yar.
12.
It's not good enough.
Okay.
So this lizard, you jump upon it and knock it prone taking a bite out of it.
That's your turn?
Yeah, it is.
Okay, it's the second, they're called brood guards.
We're just going to call them brood guards because I keep hesitating on it and I shouldn't.
It's going to recklessly attack the winter wolf that just jumped upon its mate.
It can try.
It's buddy.
It's pal.
And that's going to be a 17 on the first claw.
19 on the second claw.
11.
Not yet.
Okay.
Two claws coming at you.
14 slashing damage.
Christ almighty.
And now it is the snake arm guy's turn.
And he is going downtown where all the lights are bright.
To cast suggestion.
He's just going to edit that out.
I thought it was beautiful.
I don't know.
I think our podcast needs more Petula car.
So he is going to cast suggestion on Nulara.
So you must make a wisdom saving throw.
On a failed save, you pursue the course of action that he's going to describe here in a moment.
On a successful save, you don't have to do it.
But he's going to tell you to attack the wolf.
Hate these bad guys always telling me to attack my friends.
Right.
I'll rip you apart.
I'm sorry, Lara.
I know.
Okay.
Wisdom saving throw, eh?
You got it.
Well, fuck me.
That's 12.
That does not succeed.
Now I have to fight four people?
This is not cool.
Hey, at least Flint is alone.
He doesn't have to battle himself.
Only has demons within.
Can she at least look in my eyes and see that I'm fighting this?
I think I'm smart enough to know.
Let's find out after we check in with Flint and the trolls.
Flint, go.
All right.
Flint went for a bathroom break.
Now I was building the tension.
And Bloss rushed through it to me really quick.
So I did.
I did.
I was in the middle of texting someone.
Okay.
So there's one troll that is legless and on the ground and then two other ones, correct?
You gotcha.
One took a couple swipes at you.
The other one is more behind it trying to get in on the action.
Okay.
I am going to start my turn.
I'm going to take a healing surge.
Sure.
Yeah.
Seven.
That's plus your con, yeah?
Oh, never mind then.
11.
Don't forget to add your con.
Always adding the con.
All right.
Yeah, I'm going to take a couple swings at the guy that's on the ground.
Because I seem to have already hurt him a fair bit.
So we'll see if we can take him on a commission.
Sure.
So that's an 18.
18 will hit.
Excellent.
24.
So it takes that 24 damage.
Hit into it with blood splattering everywhere.
But it's now trying to looks like it's trying to crawl towards the well.
It's still a little bit alive.
All right.
I will use my second attack and try to take it down.
19.
But not critical.
19 will hit.
17.
You drive your axe through this troll skull and it is dead on the ground.
Just roll a d20 for me, though.
Okay.
We'll see what happens.
Are there any bonuses or just want a straight number?
Just a straight number.
15.
Yeah, so you drive through the skull and your axe glances off the stone underneath.
And it is the troll's turn.
So that one is dead.
But the other two, they see their buddy go down and they are not super happy about this.
First one is making a jumping leap to bite and claw at you.
The bite does a 20.
Not critical.
The first claw does a 9.
Second claw does a 10.
So its arms are doing weird things, just kind of going all over the place.
Wacky, wavy, inflatable arm tube guy.
Its teeth are right on where it needs to be.
And you are going to take...
He's an inner ear problem.
10 piercing damage.
Probably at the back of your neck as you are attacking this other one.
Then the second troll.
Its bite will do 15.
Its claw will do 20, not critical.
And its second claw will do 22, no criticals there.
So two claws, no bite.
So first claw will do 13 slashing damage.
Second claw will do also 13 slashing damage.
So 26 total slashing damage from that troll.
Let's go through your round once more again and then we'll go back.
Yeah, I guess there's a couple more trolls.
I got a deal.
I'm going to take another healing surge.
That is a 7 plus my bonus again.
So that's another 11 back to me.
Yeah, I guess I'll spin around for the guy that chomped me in the neck.
And plan my axe into his neck if the dice so decides that I can do that.
It's a nat 20.
He's going to make it back in time to help us.
Guys, I figured it out.
I just need to keep rolling criticals and we'll be fine.
Is that all you have to do to win this game?
I have been playing really wrong.
31, 35 on that attack.
Oh, my God.
OK, so you swing into this troll having just been bitten in the neck by it and you actually
decapitate this troll.
But when you decapitate this troll, its body remains standing.
The head rolls to the ground and yells to its friend to pick it up.
And the body still comes towards you.
OK, is that head still on the ground?
Yep.
I would love to take a swing in my axe at that head.
Sure.
That is a 19.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll say that hits.
I mean, it probably is just going to hit a head on the ground.
A prone head on the ground.
No, 19 is not good enough.
Why?
Why, Amy?
So that's 19 damage.
As it's yelling to its friend to come pick it up,
its head splits in two.
And the third troll, whose turn it is now as the body slumps to the ground of the
decapitated troll, sees you do this and jumps into the well.
And you hear it kind of slide down as it is escaping.
And then you hear a splash down at the bottom.
And now it's Nularaaaa's turn, who is under the thrall of this Yon-T pit master.
I'm sorry.
I really thought that Tom was just going to take like a great running kick and just
like move it field goal style.
Yeah.
I should have done that.
Sorry, guys.
Think of the entertainment value.
Come on.
My bad.
It's my bad completely.
Somehow like ping pongs around the room.
I don't know.
Goal!
And then he runs around the room with his arms up and the other troll is just
watching him like the fuck is happening.
Shirt over my face, down on my knees.
Somebody pour Gatorade on me.
So it's my turn.
What do I do?
I don't get to do anything.
You just tell me what I do, right?
You have to attack the wolf.
I don't want to make do-
Can't you just do it and tell me what I do?
I look at Nularaaaa and I say, because I remember that I can actually speak as a wolf.
Your back is to Nularaaaa and you don't know that this has happened.
Never mind.
So I guess I attack her like I would attack her if she was an enemy.
Yes.
You betcha.
Because that's what happens when you tail a roll.
Can't you just pull my tail or something?
Totally.
I turn out my flaming sword.
Get out a small dagger.
Okay.
Oh, I wouldn't do that.
So let's bad rolls.
Let's go bad rolls.
That wasn't a very bad roll.
That was a 17.
17.
17?
17 will hit.
Damn it.
Okay.
12 damage.
Under the thrall of this yonte, slice into your friend and singe the hairs on the back of this wolf.
I believe-
I yelp and cry out like a hurt dog and I kind of like turn and back up like-
You have a second attack, yes?
I do.
Yep.
Oh, never mind.
I can't do any of that.
You don't get a saving throw until the end of your turn.
Okay.
Oh, that's-
No.
That's 16.
Does that hit?
Yeah.
Son of a-
Damn it.
Plus two.
That's 11 damage.
Donnie is gonna try and bite me.
It's the end of your turn technically, so you can do your saving throw right now.
Save yourself.
So wisdom saving throw.
I don't even know what that means.
Oh, for fuck's sakes.
I mean, it was really good.
That's what I say when I do an exceptionally good roll.
Me too.
Oh, for fuck's sakes.
That is a seven.
Seven.
Yeah.
Do you not have like a wisdom saving throw bonus?
Is that a thing?
Yes, look under your proficiency bonus, girl.
Oh, your saving throws, yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, well, yeah.
You should have like a huge ass number in there if you're half decent at all.
Oh, she's like, I got a one.
Or a bonus.
Yeah, it's a two.
Okay, so-
Wisdom.
All my bonuses are in strength and dexterity.
Yeah, so that still fails.
Donnie, what does Donnie do?
Donnie's gonna try and bite me because he's like,
yo, what the fuck are you doing?
Yep.
He's gonna bite me.
And he does.
He got a 19.
I hope you can paralyze me.
No, I don't think he's gonna try and paralyze me.
He's just gonna bite me.
It's not gonna sting me.
So that is, oh, right.
I still have to tell you, I don't just take damage.
That is for damage from my best friend.
Yep, makes sense.
Love hurts.
It does, and I gave you more than that,
so I will take my four happily.
Okay, so the brood guard who you attacked and pinned,
you have just been struck by your friend.
So I'm assuming you kind of look to see what the fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's going to remain prone,
but claw and try and pull you into a bite here.
So the claw that it has one hand,
so I won't roll two.
The claw is going to be a 20, not critical.
Yep, I don't think I'm gonna last as a wolf
very much longer, you guys.
And the bite is going to be a six.
The bite doesn't work, the claw does.
Yeah, claw you're going to take seven slashing damage.
Now it's your turn, Thea.
Okay, where is everyone in relationship to me?
So I got one dude under me.
You've got, yeah, the single armed brood guard under you.
There is the two armed brood guard standing over you
kind of to the side.
New Laura is also to the side of you,
swinging her sword down at you.
And the snake armed fellow is still standing in the doorway.
How far is he from me?
He's probably no more than 10 feet.
I turn and I blast my cold breath at him,
a freezing wind and a 15 foot cone.
You need to make a dexterity saving throw.
There should be no getting out of this one.
He is part lizard.
Yeah.
And they are cold blooded.
Yeah, no, it's fine.
I'm just looking for any way out of it.
It's fine.
I know you are.
Um, so it's a 10.
That doesn't work.
So you need to take 4d8 cold damage.
All right.
4d8, nice.
No, she said 48.
14 cold damage.
When do I get to recharge at the beginning of my next turn?
Yeah, you roll it at the top of your turn
and then you can use it if you were charged,
but you don't if you don't.
Does it automatically recharge if I just choose not to use it?
No.
Okay.
In combat you have to recharge it.
Sia is wondering what the fuck is happening with Nulara,
but I had a feeling because this has happened before.
The second broodguard, the double armed broodguard
is going to jump at you as well,
being that you are the only bad guy right now.
Sure.
First claw is a 15.
Second claw is a 23.
Bite is a critical miss, critical miss.
So he goes to pull you in for a bite,
but just gives you a smooch instead.
Was there a lot of tongue?
Oh yeah, look at that tongue.
Oh, there's a lot of tongue.
There's a lot of tongue.
First claw is 6 slashing damage.
Second claw is 8 slashing damage.
And then it is a snake armed guy.
He's going to Eldritch Blast you, Thea.
So I make a ranged spell attack.
That's a 23.
Yeah.
And you take, so a beam of crackling energy
streaks towards you, and you take 1d10 force damage.
That will be 7 force damage.
And now it's Nularaaa's turn.
Okay.
Guess I'm just going to attack my best friend again.
That's a 24.
So I'm gonna injure her some more.
Uh, 13 damage.
Okay, hold on.
We need to do a check here on her wild shape stuff.
Hold on yet, sorry.
No.
Wild shape, reduce.
You automatically revert if you fall unconscious,
drop to zero hit points, or die.
Okay, so I just revert to my normal form.
So I'm going to drop to zero hit points,
and I'm going to revert back to my human, or my elf form.
Yeah.
So I take all of that and revert.
Yeah.
Thanks a lot.
Sorry.
I'm gonna get to use my cool icy breath once.
Fuck.
Sorry.
That's okay.
Are you gonna hit me again?
Well torn up about it.
I guess I'm gonna try.
Okay.
But I don't think I did.
I only rolled a 14.
You would have hit me as a wolf,
but you're not hitting me as an elf.
Yay!
Aw yeah.
And now I do a wisdom saving throw.
You betcha.
Better this time.
I did it better!
She did it better.
It was a 20.
Yes, that succeeds.
So you strike into your friend,
changing her back into her regular form.
Glance off her armor on the second one,
and manage to shake free from the spell
that the yonte pit master put on you.
And you are a bit dazed as Donnie's turn.
And he doesn't know that you are back to norm.
Yet.
I think what he's saying is Donnie needs to attack you.
Just saying, so just roleplay Donnie as he would
if he still thinks you're attacking your Lara.
Okay, so Donnie-
Well I mean they do communicate telepathically,
so you know he's trying to talk to her.
Yeah, that's fair.
Yay!
Okay, Donnie's gonna attack snake arms then.
Yeah, don't let him do that to anybody else.
But he's not going to,
because he critically failed.
He was very disoriented.
He had to bite me.
A lot's going on.
So sorry, what does,
let's say Donnie is coming in for another attack on you.
What does Nulara say to Donnie to stop him from-
I don't even think I say anything.
Here's what happened, because he crit failed.
He's flying towards me and he's going to bite me.
And then we lock eyes.
And he knows that I am not,
like I've come back to myself,
but it's too late.
He's like flying too quickly
and he just smacks into my head.
He just flies right into my face.
I like it.
It's good.
It's the single-armed brood guard that is now,
there is a changed Thea on top of it.
I had to turn, didn't I?
To icy breath.
I'm not on top of it anymore,
but it's probably near me.
Yeah, it's going to try and claw you again recklessly.
That is a 23 for the claw.
That'll do it.
And a bite.
It's a seven for a bite.
He cannot bite me.
He cannot bite you.
That's three slashing damage for his claw.
And now it's your turn, Thea.
I look over at her and I'm just like,
we cool?
I'm back.
Bitch, we cool.
I'm sorry.
I'm back.
I'm me.
Let's do this.
Okay, I turn around and I'm going to blight Mr. Snake Arms.
What level is blight?
Level four.
Okay, so I turn toward him and I cast my spell upon him
and he needs to make a constitution saving throw.
As you do this, he raises one of his snake arms
and your spell fizzles.
He has cast counter spell
and it is the second brood guard's turn
who's going to attack Thea.
First claw is a 14.
Nope.
Second claw is a crit 20.
Yeah.
And the bite is a 15.
I'll take that crit 20.
That's a 13 slashing damage.
And it's the yonti pit master's turn.
He is going to morph into a snake
and he slithers back into the room behind him.
Let's go back to Flint.
Flint, what are you doing not knowing
that your friends are being attacked?
I somehow know that my friends...
I have my spidey senses tingling.
No, I'm going to start getting the water out of the well
and getting it all pumped out and into the next room
just like we planned.
Sure.
Yeah, so let's say it takes you the round
to kind of fill up the basin
but not pull the handle.
So Nularaaaa, you're up.
Great.
Let's fucking do this.
I'm mad because I'm sad.
I react with anger in all situations.
So I am going to...
I guess what one's closest to me
we're all pretty close.
Yeah, they're both actively attacking Thea right now.
Okay, I'm going to attack the one that still has both arms.
That is a 25.
25 will hit.
20 points of damage.
I am also going to cast a spell.
What?
Remember that I can do that sometimes?
I didn't, but I can.
Again, I am going to cast Hail...
No, that's not what I want to...
Is that what I want?
No.
I'm going to cast Hunter's Mark so he gets an extra D6
and this is focused on that guy right now.
So I can't remember if he's number two.
I think he's number two.
So he gets an extra D6 damage whenever I hit him with a weapon attack.
So he's going to take three more damage.
Then I'm going to attack him again, but I am going to...
Oh, maybe not.
I got a good plus.
That's 16.
Yep, that'll hit.
Great.
18 damage from that and then for Hunter's Mark he gets an extra two.
Oh yeah.
So that is 20 damage total.
Yeah, you attack him the first time and it brings his attention back to you,
but not quick enough before you attack him the second time
and strike him through and he falls to pieces, basically,
from the damage that he has taken there.
Yeah, so Donnie will go give that other guy a little little chomp-a-roo.
That's an 18.
Look at Donnie, he's back.
That is five damage.
And I assume this...
Yeah, they're immune to stings.
I assume this guy is as well.
And it's that guy's turn.
And he is going to recklessly attack you, Nulara.
He can try.
He's got one claw.
He's gonna do it.
That's a critical 20 with his claw.
That'll do it.
And a 16 with his bite.
16 damage, hey?
All right, no, no, no, sorry.
Critical 20 to hit with his claw, 16 to hit with his bite.
Okay.
So that's two attacks.
16 does not hit.
Does that work?
Yeah, so just the critical claw.
So that's eight, 10 slashing damage.
Okay.
Okay, I am going to do a healing surge.
Oh yeah, plus my constitution is...
Oh, it's 10 points back, yeah.
Okay, so I am mad.
I'm gonna dash to the door of the other room and see if I can see where that guy went.
You can make it just regular running.
You're like 10 feet from the door.
Okay, perfect.
But you come around the corner and he has disappeared from sight, the snake.
I turn around and I produce flame on the
the one-armed dude.
Okay.
It's gonna be 2d8.
What level am I?
You're level nine.
2d8, well, that's a great roll.
Six damage, fire damage.
Fire.
So that one lets out a hissing yelp as you burn it and its scales begin to bubble
and it falls to the ground dead as well.
Good, good.
Flint, what are you doing?
I hope something good because we got our sacrifices, all they just happened.
Well, I'm assuming I'm still in the process of filling up that basin, no?
Yeah, we'll say you filled it up to the point where you think it would be enough
or when you guys first did it that it seemed like it was holding enough
before it was starting to evaporate.
I guess I just pulled that lever.
You pull the lever and the water drains as it did before behind the wall,
as far as you're concerned.
Back in the other room, you guys hear water coming out and down a sluice
that follows along the wall and goes to the divination pool.
I don't even know if I want this freaking pool anymore.
Hey there, it's me, your dungeon master Russ More.
Thank you for joining us for episode 25 of Dumbgeons and Dragons titled
Split the Party and Ye Shall Be Rewarded or something like that.
Doesn't seem anybody was very happy with me at the end of this episode
so it goes as dungeon master sometimes.
I'll try and make more friends next time.
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By joining Patreon you get an extra episode a month
which is our dungeon side-scroller episodes.
Right now they're DM'd by Tom and we're going through his story
The Road to Duntheros.
It is super sweet.
We all have a super fun time recording that one
and we think that you'll enjoy it just as much as we enjoy playing it.
We'll try and keep it to that here.
Short and sweet.
The next episode will be out in a couple weeks
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and hopefully it doesn't get too deep that
Tom, Carla and Amy don't like me after it.
Yeah, we'll see how it goes.
Let's get back in there though
and see if they can't get this divination pool all fired up.
As you guys hear the water come out, what are you guys doing?
Panting?
Doubled over?
I turn to Nularaaaa and say,
uh, you okay?
You got a little weird on me there.
I'm so sorry.
Obviously I couldn't control myself.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I have that effect on people.
You're a good sport, Thea.
And you hear the water coming down the sluice.
Flint must have done it.
You got a question ready?
No, I run toward the pool and to watch it.
The water hits the pool and spreads out and flares with a black light.
And we go bowling?
Are you...
You...
Thea is mesmerized by what she's seeing and just stands and stares and feels kind of all...
You stare into the pool.
Make a wisdom saving throw.
Can I interject while she makes that throw?
I like look, but I'm like, see, it's got this.
This is her ball game.
And I am still like facing towards where Mr. Snakey Snake disappeared to,
ready just in case he decides to come back.
I'm still like ready for action to protect my friend while she asks a brilliant question.
I rolled a 23.
Am I cray cray?
No, you saved the throw.
You look into the pool and you see swirling colors and you hear
what sounds like a voice, but it's muffled.
And it slowly comes into your mind and says,
if you seek information from the divination pool, we demand a personal sacrifice.
Like what?
Do I say that in my mind?
I say it out loud to weird Nularaaao.
Like what?
Nularaaao is just like, what?
Wait, what?
Me?
No, not you.
Quiet.
Voices in my head.
What kind of personal sacrifice?
The voice, there's a brief pause and it says,
you shall not receive answers until a sacrifice is gained.
I reach into my bag of holding and taking out the book that I had found in the library of the dead.
Library of the dead.
Thank you.
Enon.
I reach into my bag of holding and I pull out the book about the druids,
um, knowing I have not read all there is to read and there is much more for me to learn.
I take the book and I throw it into the swirling colors,
knowing that that information is lost to me forever.
The book hits the water and lights up with an enormous flare.
What is your question?
I did it, you guys.
I put a comforting hand on her back.
But still maintaining your readiness to fight.
Yes, you bet.
New Laura, are you looking in the pool?
What's going on with you?
No, she's looking at the door.
Okay.
Just guarding my friend's back, but you know.
Yeah, cool, just checking.
My question is, who in the Cult of the Dragon
can be turned to our side to help the fight to stop the rise of Tiamat?
Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.